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Paulette Tomasson is a Registered Nurse, Registered Clinical Counsellor, Consultant, Author, and Speaker located in West Vancouver, B.C, Canada.

Yesterday I Unleashed My Inner Brett Kavanaugh and It Wasn’t Pretty.

Yesterday I Unleashed My Inner Brett Kavanaugh and It Wasn’t Pretty.

I was sitting waiting for my space, or what I deemed to be “my space”, in the parking lot feeling rushed at the end of a busy day. After waiting for about 5 to 7 minutes, the party in the space finished loading their car and began to back out. “Finally” I sighed. Just as I moved forward a big white BMW SUV rushed into the space from the other side. They came out of now where. They had been nowhere in sight during my wait. They were in “my space”. I was shocked to say the least. I became filled with rage.

Then I did something I have never done before.

I got out of my car, walked over to the drivers’ window and knocked on it forcefully. I was incensed. “I was here before you waiting for this spot and you just took it.” I accused him. “I want you to move your car.” The driver was a young Asian male and he looked at me with disdain. The passenger in the SUV got out and came around to address me. He was also a young Asian male.

I repeated my accusation. He replied, “So what.” I was again shocked at his attitude. He looked at me disdainfully and called me a peasant. . He said he didn’t care how long I had waited they were not going to move.

“Did you just call me a peasant?” I asked. He repeated it. I regained my composure and replied, “Well this is Canada and we are polite and kind, notdisrespectful and rude.”

He countered with “I’m Canadian.”

I responded with very entitled indignation “ Well I was born in Canada and I was taught how to be respectful.” He stopped for a moment, looked down and then replied, “I don’t care.”

Just then a gentleman about 45 yrs. old came over. He had been watching the encounter. He told the young man he had seen me waiting for the spot and recommended he man up and move his car.

I need to tell you that I am a 74 yr. old small white haired woman. I think the gentleman was afraid these two young men would hurt me. They talked for a few minutes and I started to leave. The gentleman asked me to stay. He continued for a few minutes and finally the young man spoke to his friend the driver saying they should leave. The driver was enraged. He leaned on his horn and pounded his fists. The first young man got back into the SUV and they backed out continuing to lean on the horn.

The gentleman who had facilitated my rescue waited for me to drive into the space. I thanked him and started to walk towards the store. The two men in the SUV returned and drove beside me racing back and forth with the horn blazing. I was very nervous and shaking. I went into the store and after a few more minutes of driving and blasting the horn they left.

So that was the scene. That evening as I reflected on the incident and began to see how I had shared my experience with my friends I was shocked at what I saw. I had really dressed up my story in its telling.

Just like Kavanaugh I had felt entitled, he, to the seat on the bench and me to the parking spot.

I became enraged when someone had challenged my right to the spot, just like he became enraged that someone would question his right to the position on the bench.

It was just a parking space and it actually belonged to the shopping center, not me but I had demanded that it was mine. The position on the Supreme Court Bench actually belongs to the people of the US not to Brett Kavanaugh. He gets appointed to it but it isn’t his.

When I so brazenly told the young man that “I was born in Canada” I certainly was not displaying the qualities I was espousing to him. Like Kavanaugh I was acting just the opposite of what I was insisting I was. He, displaying anger and arrogance while espousing to be of the good temperament required for the position on the bench. There I was being a less than kind and polite Canadian.

Later as I told my story I found myself being less than truthful and doing my best to paint myself in a good light. I heard myself saying that I had approached them very reasonably when actually I had been very angry. Like Kavanaugh I tried to make myself into the victim rather than owning that I may have been more of an angry aggressor.

I am embarrassed by my behaviors and shocked by how quickly I rose to rage followed by embellishment and playing the victim. I see how fortunate I am that the incident did not escalate into something more harmful.

I have judged Brett Kavanaugh for his behavior in the past couple of weeks but I realize now that I have no right to judge him. I can have my opinion and disagree with him and his behaviour but I need to let go of my judgment.

Can you imagine if my behavior had been aired on international TV?

Waking Up in the Clouds

Waking Up in the Clouds